There comes a time in life when you
want something. And as usually happens in the grand scheme of things, what you
want is trumped by what you need at the time.
What I wanted was a family photo
before I looked sick. Before the hair falls out. Before I look like a period in
our lives that was tough but we got through. Before the temporary pain, I
wanted a more tangible memory of the way it was. The way to look forward to
again.
But there were too many
appointments. There were biopsies. Treatment plans to be made. In the
back of my mind, we've never had a professional family photo. It wasn't going
to happen, something had to give.
I have been lucky in love. I have
been gifted with amazing friends. I hold fast to the view that things generally
work out, you just have to hang in there.
Then my friend Sharon messaged me. Their
family photographer and friend gives a free photo session to a woman with
breast cancer in the Month of October and she hoped I didn't mind, but I was on
her mind and she forwarded my blog to Debbie LeAnne, who
absolutely wanted to photograph me. I must have read that wrong...yet before I
knew it I had arranged a date to go over ideas. Debbie and I chatted, I learned
about her amazing work and concept- she captures real moments. I like that.
That's what I am about. The photo session would be part of a program called iPicture HOPE, started by a photographer named
Camille Denae when her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. It is a
way for photographers to use their work to not only help women who are ravaged
by disease feel beautiful, but a way to capture the strength behind the women
while raising awareness for Breast Cancer.
As I started to stress about outfits
and wrangling kids, Debbie put me at ease. She assured me- hair and make up
would be taken care of and would it be ok if another photographer captured
video of a day in the life of the mayhem that is the Mallory's. The only
thing more terrifying to me than being in front of a camera is being in front
of one that captures video. Yet as I sat with Debbie, I genuinely liked her, I
trusted her and knew before me was a once in a lifetime opportunity. It's funny
how cancer changes your perspective.
I barely had time to stress about
details when the morning of the shoot rolled around. Scone Sunday has been a
tradition for years and Brenda Van showed up early to capture it. What is
not on film would be me and Phil shoving months worth of crap around the house into baskets and
tucking it in Phillip's room right before we welcomed her into our home.
Usually I would throw it in our room- but there was no time. Like Debbie,
Brenda is someone I would choose to be friends with. Talented, beautiful, and
very much real. I marveled at the forces at work that brought these women into
my life and felt immensely grateful. We prepared scones, played games,
read books and captured memories. Not a bit the screaming photo shoots I
envisioned- trying to get everyone to smile and look natural while feeling
completely fish out of water. It was like a friend(with a very very large
lens) was hanging out with us. We ended the morning sequestered upstairs,
while I read letters to the kids. Pretty glad I chose Phillips room for the
baskets O crap. I knew this was going to be the toughest part. Collecting
the thoughts, putting them on paper and then having to read them. We teared up
together, although Brenda might just have been mortified at the clutter
surrounding her.
Later that day, Debbie and Sheena E arrived to begin the
transformation. As Sheena plugged in multiple irons, and laid out various
palattes of shelac, I knew I was in good hands. Hands I found out that were
personally requested to travel with Mrs. Hawaii to the Mrs. America
pageant. I would have to say Mrs. Hawaii probably presented a lot less of
a challenge than what sat before Miss Sheena E- but she had lots of magic in
her little black bag combined with a whole lot of skill. That and she
skillfully navigated child after child who presented themselves with weird
requests- just to get closer to the action. So when she asked how I felt
about eyelashes- I said I generally like them and promptly looked to Debbie who
said- go for it. Mind you my professional make up experience has included one
trip to a make up counter at a department store for a friend's wedding. I
was not disappointed. Although I will never be the type to spend an hour plus
or minus another hour a day perfecting the look she created- it was a lot of
fun to have the experience and to get to be flawless even if for a little
while.
Debbie LeAnne Photography
We packed into the van and headed to
Koolina. One of our favorite spots. A spot dear to out hearts. A spot where
we've had romantic walks, anniversaries, birthdays, staycations. The place we
detoured to the night before my mastectomy so we could watch the sunset
together one last time while I was whole. So it had to be Koolina.
We grabbed some family shots and
some candids then ventured out to the rocks. The ladies called the kids
away and we posed. There we were, on our own little rock island watching
the sunset and we giggled and forgot there was anyone else there. And we
danced. Because sometimes when you are with your one true love, all else falls
away if only for a moment. In that moment is a beautiful memory and the
goddesses of film so expertly captured it. And the entire shoot felt like a
trip to the beach- it was natural, it was fun and it was delightfully chaotic-
which is us. And the only thing more valuable than the perfect family picture
are the pictures that capture a family perfectly. Debbie
LeAnne and Brenda Van gave us more than I could ever have
imagined and for them I will always be grateful. Below are their inspiring
finished products.
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In October 2008, 3 year old Lily was diagnosed with 2 types of Cancer. In 2012 her mom was diagnosed with 2 types of cancer. Here are the current updates on Lily's family, their tumors, treatment and living with Li Fraumeni Syndrome.
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