Days 20 and 21. Cut to the end.

The last few days of a cycle, I feel pretty good. Its a mad rush to do all the things that I want/need to do. Sometimes it's just cooking a dinner that's not hamburgers or pizza. Sometimes it's prep for the next week. Sometimes it's sitting on the couch watching football while my husband folds laundry. And now it's been a full week into the next cycle and I don't really even remember what happened day 20 and 21. It's kind of Groundhog day. Usually I get some intense anxiety and sadness going into the cycle. Dreading feeling icky. But then I remember why we are doing it and I keep busy.

Bella helped me put out Halloween decorations.  Oh the girls had rehearsal and we went out for an appetizer dinner after. Phil was overnight shift again and that seemed like a fun dinner diversion.

Monday, Lily and I got our hair cut! That was the big thing we did. Not that big but important. My hair is awesome. I think back to all the years I wanted curls so badly and paid to have one disastrous perm after another. When Lily's hair got crazy curly, I always kind of felt that in a way- I got my curls. But now I have my own and they are pretty crazy. And I don't care if they don't lay right or I have a frolicious day. I throw some mousse in it- scrunch and away we go. Getting a haircut was tougher than I thought.

My barber is great. He gets that I'm a no fuss kinda girl. So I was surprised how painful the "are we growing it out or cutting it today?" was.  It felt too much like PLANNING. It shouldn't be hard- I'd LIKE to grow it out, BUT I don't know how long I will have hair until we might have to take another chemo detour. So do I want to spend time in that "awkward growing it out " phase or just keep it kind of easy and short? The cool thing is I am at that point. I'm where it's a little long to be tamed but too short to be pushed pulled or pinned back cohesively. But I also am no fuss no muss. But it would be nice to grow it out and pull it back again. And well I have a Lily- people seem to like to goofy curls. I know I appreciate them.

We compromise on a bit off the back and a general shaping with the plan to let it grow out and if it gets annoying, I can always make another appointment. After that we met the in laws for lunch. I like random opportunities to take cute pics of the kids.