Eye on the Ball

This year will be the 13th year we've lived in Hawaii. This is the longest Phil or I have officially lived anywhere. I open the windows when the weather is cool in the fall and the kids say it smells like Christmas. Hawaii Christmas smells much much different than my Ohio and Colorado Christmas memories of pine, snow, and spice. Their Christmas is a salty floral warmth.

With the holiday season, comes many events. Every year, like most do- we have to pick and choose. When Phil was at the Academy- we went to several balls, dining outs or ins- oh hell I still can't get those straight. Cancer took over most of our lives, but the military is also a huge part of our family. 

Service Academy Something or Other- 1995.

I had been introduced to the military formal one winter with Phil's parents, he comes from quite the military family. Both sides. For me, my dad and grandfathers were in the military- of course most of their lives was war time and what I remember most was how to make a bed, fold towels and scrub a toilet- dad would tell a story here and there but mostly those cleaning techniques and love of Air Force football from his days in the Air Force were what he handed down.

well that feels natural.
USAFA Ring Dance 1998.

USAFA Grad Banquet 1998

I don't like dressing up. The expense, the time it takes, the airs. It's taken me 20 some odd years to realize- it doesn't matter. There is significance and importance to formal events. We've had some amazing times with friends over the years. Sometimes it is nice to dress up. Sometimes it is a royal pain in the arse. Sometimes you just throw on the dress that barely covers your nursing tatas and hope for the best.

UPT Grad Banquet-I think 2000?

Langley- Hughes Trophy Banquet 2003

 Every year there is the HING ball- Hawaii National Guard. Between kid activities, squadron activities and life, we never made it to the HING ball. We have been to several HIANG- HI Air National Guard formals- and well if I dress up once a year that's pretty good for me! This year, since Phil is Squadron Commander of the 169th, we agreed it would be good to go.

HIANG Dining Out. or In. who knows. 2015

Generally I stress about what to wear- the pressure is quasi-debilitating. There is something to be said for going through chemo side effects like hair loss and massive weight gain to put a lot of it in perspective. The point is to look nice- I had a dress that was comfortable and appropriate. I've never subscribed to the only wear it once thing. So I collected some different bling to dress it up and sparkly sandals(love this about Hawaii) because well heels are just not an option right now. I've learned over time- I love shoes and jewelry, I just don't care to wear them.

a good sign- the teachings of Buddha in the hotel room. 

We knew it was a chemo week, so Phil got a room nearby the Convention Center where the ball was. He is so sweet- he promised if I just wanted to sit in the room and rest- it was ok. I packed some snacks and wine- I think I was looking forward to getting out of the house more than anything and just not rushing to get ready or have a dog and kids vying for my attention. We get there when we get there. I could leave when I got tired.  And we were together.

snacks. 

These events can be very overwhelming. We used to go over social rosters on the way to events, hoping to remember everyone's names. Now I go with the approach, just be friendly. That's the only detail that matters. And drink wine. That helps too. Each event has it's own personality, I was looking forward to the Hawaiian style formal. This would be our first formal in a leadership position. It was different, but I found it to be a little more subdued. I sat and appreciated the myriad of dresses, shoes and genuinely appreciated the glam effort others put in. This is for Irina, who wanted all the details.

Formal pictures were set up outside the ballroom, where an hour prior to seating thousands gathered for drinks and schmoozing. We walked from the hotel and missed most of the social hour because well I am not very fast. Ok we missed all the social hour. I wish it were for a scandalous reason- but the truth is it was nice to just leisurely get ready. As we arrived, Phil procured drinks and I tried to procure a spot for photos. That was when seating began- so we detoured into the hall greeting friends and acquaintances along the way. Then the hall went dark.

I always keep our name cards tucked in a program. 

Many times at formal events, like the opera- lights will dim to gently scoot you towards your seats. This was a full blackout. After a couple minutes, generators kicked in and the hall was dimly lit. We found our way to the table. We all kinda laughed about the power- knowing those organizing the event were not amused. Apparently the power was out on the entire block. The entertainment- local band Kapena, packed up and left. The photos shut down. Anything requiring electricity was a no go. Not ideal for a hungry room of over a thousand. So a very good decision was made- the food was ready and they started bringing it out. This is my kinda event. Normally you have the presentation of the colors, speeches, toasts before the food comes out. I always worry my stomach will rumble crazy loud during the moment of silence when they present the POW table, also known as the Fallen Comrade table or Missing Man Table. This might be one of the most significant parts of these events for me- a table intricately set to remind us of those who are unable to be here with us.

The rest of the guests are at tables for 8, the centerpieces a beautiful mix of local red ginger, birds of paradise and greenery. Each place setting has a program, name card and festive shot glass with local chocolate. Salad was served first, with a coconut curry pineapple dressing, followed by a main of with beef or fish. Both were excellent. Dessert was chocolate cake or cheesecake. Shortly after dinner, the lights came on and the official program began. Governor Ige gave a short speech expressing his gratitude for the service members before he had to jet to another scheduled event- which probably had electricity. Awards were given, a special dance was performed by leadership couples and artwork was presented by local painter  Brook Kapukuniahi Parker.  A Hawaiian artist and historian, Brook dedicates his energy and talents to bringing to life the Hawaiian ancestors and the beauty of Hawaii through art. The painting presented represented all the Hawaiian warriors over time from Kamehameha to modern air power and was the perfect piece to represent the occasion. After the presentations, we visited awhile- catching up with friends in different units and managed a quick picture. All in all it was a ball. We did not dance- because well Phil is afraid I might break- even though I still have to remind him to clip his walking pace a bit. I came away without blisters or back aches and my wrists were only slightly green from the glitzy bracelets of inauthentic quality. Yet none of it compares to being on the arm of the handsome man I adore.

2017 HING Ball.