Wednesday, December 5, 2018

It Takes a Village, A Christmas Village.





The Halloween Costumes still littered the floor with random candy wrappers and paper plates strewn about. Kiera started asking about Christmas...


Months ago, she asked if she could help our friend Angel put up their (extensive) Christmas village. Years before, we had gone for a visit and the village was up- my girls were enthralled. I coordinated a date and a visit with Angel. Angel is one of my closest friends. And in our worlds, closest means infrequent texts and a couple visits a year.

She's one of those people I just connected with instantly. She's authentic, giving, and selfless. I had a daughter with cancer. She lost their daughter to a rare metabolic disease and now cares for her second daughter, with the same metabolic condition. When we first met, I knew she was my people and as the years went on, wondered why she still bothered to keep me on her list- because although she thinks I "get it"- I don't. How Could I? I did the 24 hour care of a fragile child routine for less than a year. It exhausted the eff out of me. I .can. not. imagine the years she and her husband have spent on that level of lack of sleep and adrenaline- and why?

For the smile of an Angel. And for her daughter,  a royal, heavenly character, Anolani. A sweet little girl who was brought into the world with so much love- not changing millions profoundly, but profoundly changing those she encounters. Like her family. And me. I see Angel, she is run down, she misses her friends, she is overwhelmed by daily tasks, yet keeps on. Because somewhere among the chaos is pure magic. That is why.

Bella had snuffles. We know that any illness is threatening to our little friend, so she graciously offered to stay home. Lily, Kiera, and I headed out to Angel and Ano's, excited to start the season of giving. We spent a lovely morning carefully unpacking and assembling a village of memories. Kiera taking the lead, carefully arranging everything as we ooohed and ahhhhed over every single one.  We get it. Each house, each tiny person represents a memory in their lives. A memory we now get to be a part of.  That to me is the magic of Christmas. The memories, the friendships, the family.

It took years, to get here.  Many of them, I wanted nothing more than to have a Colorado Christmas. For our family, between activities, work, medically, financially- it has not been feasible. We compromised one year and spent the New Year in Ca. Hawaii is paradise.  My kids think Christmas smells like flowers and a tropical breeze. We go through our traditions, but it's been years since I've felt the magic. After time, I've realized the magic of Colorado is still there, most of it is securely wrapped in memories. Memories that we've built and arranged and fixed.


I'm run down. I miss my friends. I miss my family. I am overwhelmed by daily tasks.  My friend Trish sends a simple text. Can you come visit? I'm worried about her. I mull over the possibility. Then The possibility became reality.


Kiera watches Hallmark Christmas movies year round. So this year we say screw it- we are goin snow balls to the wall and doing what we want- which is helping a friend set up a Christmas Village the first week in November. I had just returned before Halloween from getting to spend time with my nephews and their pretty awesome parents in CA, then on to see Trish.


The cooler weather of Washington, the cool rain and even a few flakes of snow before I left cemented my drive to have a good holiday season. The personal space, the time with friends and family was just what I needed. They were gifts to me, by friends who know what it's like to be run down, missing friends, and overwhelmed. There were so many years I rushed thorough the motions- mentally calculating what really mattered. Packing it in, not having the chance to savor it. So many times it wasn't my vision. The gift was in the time.  My gift to me was putting the fun holiday things first going forward.

the elves.

Last night, Phillip steps in the house and says- Mom, Have you gone FULL ELF? Well we HAVE
watched ELF the movie 3 times, while decorating


but it might have been the giant paper snowflakes and pool noodle candy canes littering the floor that gave him the idea. Our lanai still houses boxes- usually I rush to get things unpacked - this year I am working within energy confines and the participation of elves, intermittent at best.


so much glitter
The commitments of gatherings and class parties and such has gone down dramatically, by nature and by choice. We had a Christmas painting night, The girls set up "a pretty" tree upstairs, our Tree is beautiful- and stocked with memories silver snowflakes and teal bows- the glitter oh so much glitter, they just wanted a more cohesive plan,


GRISWOLD Jr. after I removed several cords...

the Phillips put up outdoor decorations, Griswold style while Kiera and I hung greenery, white lights and red bows on the lanai. Then on a weekly trip to Costco- I found our Village.

By ours, I mean Kiera's. We started it together, but it will be hers. The squeal of joy when she opened the box- the care she took finding each part and person a place. As she hugged me, there was magic. Kiera doesn't hug and she meant it. Over the years, her Village will change and grow. It will be moved, pieces will break, some will be fixed, others will break her heart. And someday she will get run down, she will miss her friends, us, and be overwhelmed. That will be time to call in the Village. Perhaps a good friend, or her mom will see what she needs and perhaps ask for a visit to set up the Village. 




Lily Kay Monkey

Lily Kay Monkey
November 2008 Photographed by Shelley Detton (7 Layer Studio)