Oct 5-8. The Pause of Men.

Over the past few days, I've had profound thoughts that get sidelined by normal stuff.

And well my memory is crap so you will not get to benefit from any of them because I quite frankly don't remember. brain tumor side effect, chemo side effect, menopause side effect- who knows.

After my first chemo stopped working- we attacked the cancer another route. I tried Aromatase Inhibitors(AI) which are actually pretty effective for metastasis. My joints ached, the anxiety was bad, insomnia, mini hot flashes. Menopause stuff. That's the point- zap all the hormones and conversion to hormones that feed the cancer. Those hormones have some positive balancing effects as well- bone density, joints and such(hence the aches), concentration, depression, temperature control... A lot of the same effects from chemo so I thought- eh it would be ok. Until it wasn't. So I stopped.

With new bone activity- it's back to the AI. Funny enough, my hip/spine pain went waaay down- but my knees feel like I was a linebacker back in college. That was one of the factors that helped- the knees hurt- but no where near what the back was, so for now that a QOL improvement. I rarely get to sleep until after 3, spend most of the day in a fatigue fog, and well I'm always hot. Not in the good way. Let's not discuss the mood swings. It's not great for interpersonal relationships. Yet I am here and kicking and find things to laugh at and traditions to keep, like putting up Halloween decorations with Bella after she came with me to physical therapy.

Then to keep things fun and interesting- Phil and I had an at home date nite. Because YOLO and we are overdue and the kids were all busy. I also wanted to have a glass of wine- or 3 and give pause to a momma friend whose son Brent's birthday was the 7th. Phil did not appreciate my completion of promised Menage a Trois.