Saturday, June 27, 2009

You take the good, you take the bad...

You take them both and there you have it. I've been finalizing arrangements for Lily's big party, so it only seems logical that things should blow up. Food- ordered, waterslide and bouncy house- taken care of. But her final day of mitotane, I just can't figure it. I counted days, weeks, calendar months. It doesn't make sense to me- 3 out of 4 ways of counting and I have her done Monday this week. Yet the "official" word is that she will not be done until July 17th. F%$! Not much we can do about it. I know I'm right, but the study doc said 8 weeks after the final chemo. Well her final chemo started the 20th and ended the 24th of April. Add 8 weeks- that puts us to June 15-19th. Ok- Maybe from the end of THAT cycle- that would be May 11- add 8- that puts us only to July 6th. Counting actual weeks of mitotane- we are done with week 32 on Monday. I know it seems stupid to be upset over 2 weeks. But that's 56 more doses of mitotane. I could be the perpetual optimist and say it couldn't hurt- she just reached therapeutic levels 2 months ago(ironic eh?- 8 flipping weeks) so the more the merrier- kill those little bad ass cancer cells and hope the craziness and neuropathy it is slowly but surely causing as the blood plasma concentration goes up is truly temporary. And people worry about giving their kids food that has red dye 40 in it. I wonder how adrenal cancer cells feel about red 40? You take the good, you take the bad.

As I am all grumpy and weepy over it, Phil looks at me rationally and says - Are you upset because she's not going to be done or upset because she's not going to be done by her party. Both, but mostly I want her to be done with this phase. It's time. Her party is to celebrate these months of bravery and strength , to celebrate her and our amazing little family and the amazing group of friends that have helped us through it. It doesn't matter as much when. Talk about a major case of senioritis.

Friends are on the island, so we took a last minute opportunity to have a little getaway. Recharge all of our batteries. My camera is worn out too, and I forgot the charger- so these memories are stored in my memory banks. This would also be the good- sitting back- enjoying the weather- the breeze- and realizing life is too short to sweat the little stuff. 3 more weeks. It'll be done before we know it.


  1. Your party is going to be such a blast:) Sorry the world calendars are not aligned (#$%^#@ to them all.

    As they say on some kids song , I'm sure you will know it, from the old Electic Company show in school?--"Three,, is a magic number,, yes it IS,, it's a magic number."

    Love you,

  2. Phil, my son, you are wise. I miss you and I love you. Have a great party. Love, Mom


Lily Kay Monkey

Lily Kay Monkey
November 2008 Photographed by Shelley Detton (7 Layer Studio)