TESTING the waters, aka Catapaulting back to Normal.

I sat in the recliner in our room and watched the sun peek over our palms. Paradise. Any given day - we could be anywhere. I try to appreciate our surroundings as much as possible- you know when life and cancering doesn't get in the way. I miss my morning sunrise trips just down the road. Minutes from our house, the beach- not a good swimming beach- mostly a fishing spot and homeless encampment, but close and still stunning. The door opens- Phil peeks in-Phillip-  is hit with the virus from hell. I can hear the roar of puking downstairs. Ugh- round 5 which Rounded out our Spring Break nicely. Due to his Type 1 diabetes- he, like Lily needs to be monitored closely. This means taking blood sugars and ketones after every vomit/explosive episode. Or every 2 hours whichever comes first. My plans for today are well, shot- world domination will have to wait for tomorrow.

Blood sugars do not like to play nice during illness. Phillip's run high, which lead to ketones in the blood which can lead to coma and death. We have to be careful. This is another reminder that I am not ready for him to go off island quite yet for college. Me, not him. Me. He manages his diabetes very very well. As much as it sucks- he feels better and we all fare better when his blood sugars are in control. I begin cleaning his room in between episodes. My back hates me, but at least I know it's an- I've been cleaning for a week straight ache- not an what cancer/chemo problem is lurking type of ache.

We get through the day. Kiera disinfects her room yet again, the lone survivor, she sits at the table, a bottle of hand sanitizer safely snuggled. In the afternoon, Phillip's girlfriend stops by with chicken noodle soup and watches Barbie movies with Lily.

The next morning I am up. It will be a day of disinfection- laundry on 3 hour sanitize loads. Kiera has an eye appointment. Bella wants to make pancakes.  Lily comes downstairs, one eye pink and swollen shut with crusties. GDMFCSSOB. Pink eye. stop touching it. go wash your hands. I give her a warm compress. she sits. I call the clinic- they actually have a same day appointment. I call and reschedule Kiera's eye appointment. Oh the irony.  Phillip is on the couch- I fumigate his room with lysol and collect all bedding. Wipe down the bathroom, again. By the time I get Lily into clinic, her eye looks fine. Of course. Continue compresses and allergy meds. Of course. Dr. Jen is tired. One less set of bedding to sanitize- although it is getting washed, again. Home again home again jiggity jig..

Ok- next morning. I am up early. Back is aching. Phil is half asleep and rubbing it for me. I move to the recliner so he can rest. I could make it to the beach by sunrise. Its been 2 months- I haven't driven. I've been lucky enough to have enough help to do the driving and then the stomach bug quarantined us. Next week I will be solo again- it's time.  I head downstairs- grab a box of girlscout cookies and tea- don't judge- breakfast of champions!  The beach is a 5 min drive. A good start, with an excellent reward. I sit with the windows down and listen to the waves crash. Music for my soul.  The clouds hover on the horizon, I have a little extra time til she peeks her shiny face my way. A good start to a new day.

I get home before Phil leaves for work- proud of my accomplishment. I drove. The rest of the day is planned around Kiera's eye appointment and although I let her drive, I feel some of my independence coming back- raging back- as we spend 3 hours at the mall and finally make it home. It was exhausting yet very normalish.