October 2- Therapy

There are many types of therapy. Emotional, spiritual, physical, psychological, chemotherapy, radiation therapy, . Therapy can help you go on when everything else seems broken. Therapy is a part of life- and you can call it whatever you want- living, recharging, coping. But when you need help, its important to get help.

After my dad died, I went to therapy for awhile. I didn't feel I needed it. It helped. a lot.

After I got married, Phil worked long hours. With 2 kids at home-I struggled with my new identity. As most moms do after the warm fuzzy of new mom wears off. My therapy became schedule. Fixing up the house, making a home. Being momalicious. Immersing in the fighter wife culture.

We moved to Hawaii, had a few more kids, way more debt and then the cancering hit. Inundated in saving Lily. Routine was our therapy. We went to some support group functions, yet although some of the needs were similar, each family has their own set. LFS put us on another plane. The kids met with a counselor while we were in clinic, which seemed to be all the time. The hospital hosted Oncology on canvas- a great art therapy opportunity.

Years of cancering does a lot of damage. Emotionally, spiritually, physically. The collateral damage can be great. The long term effects surprising yet expected, never fun. After Lily was finished with chemo, was a dark time for me. Those around you expect that "you won",  "you beat" the cancer. Everything is great. When in actuality- you survived. I just survived. I wondered when, how long we'd have before the next cancer would throw us back into the fray.

Medical quiet time was short. We were just getting a handle on Phillip's diabetes when I became lumpy. A chunk of arm and breast sacrificed to the Cancer Gods with hope that we could buy time. If it can't be medically quiet, we learned to settle for time. We embrace life, check off bucket list items, hug a little more.

The effects are cumulative. After awhile, your energy stores deplete, no matter how you try to replenish them. Others help get you to the next piece of calm.

We kinda chart our own course. I went right from surgeries to travelling back to life.  Before Cancer, I had been pretty healthy. You know- healthy enough for tumors to thrive. After, I stepped up physical activity and we ate even healthier. My cancer still metastasized. Chemo made me feel weak. My genetic counselor called because she went to a conference and found a great physical therapist near us. I could get acupuncture and they could help me feel stronger. Physical therapy became a valuable part of my routine. It got me out of the house, it kept me physical and overall helped me feel better.

Sometimes I dance with cancer. Sometimes I dance with insurance issues to get the therapies that help. Every person is different. Each therapy shows that. One size does not fit all. So what I've learned- find what works for you. If it's getting up every day and doing a full face of make up-taking walks- drawing-writing- do it. Do it to feel better, do it for you.