Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Don't let them fool you....

They look like little ANGELS don't they? Turn your back for a second and they pounce. Lily and Bella have been playing with each other again, finally. They used to be good buds and then this cancer thing came along and flubbied up any semblance of routine we had. Then Lily turned evil 3 year old on pms and then Bella decided to do what 2 year olds do- imitate the 3 year old on PMS and I have been wondering why exactly I wanted kids in any capacity because on most days they seem pretty evil. Spiteful and demanding. They go around un picking up everything I pick up- dirtying anything that might resemble clean- creating noise where there could be silence.....Demanding juice, snacks, food, baths. Like that's my JOB...well it is- but I thought I was the boss for a second.
So they sneak away to play Barbies and I do what needs to be done- scrub toilets, do a few loads of laundry- snip some bushes out back that are getting overgrown and hence starting to know fun stuff. Actually I did the yard stuff because it's delightfully windy and cool and I just wanted to be outside for a little while. And then they found me, and started throwing rocks. Not so delightful, that part. So I start sweeping the plant shards and rocks and Bella is dodging the flying debris- I guess playing Speed Racer on her Bike(she is the reason Don't Bike Naked bumper stickers are in existence- she just doesn't know it yet.) I make the 3rd round of food that Lily won't touch- and when Bella tries to eat it- war breaks out. It's exhausting.
We make it to afternoon. We walk to pick up the kids. Bella hops in and out of the stroller- driving me to the brink of insanity. Lily lets Nee nee fly in the wind- twice I end up chasing it down the street. The third time- it becomes mine. Screaming ensues. We make it to school. A freakishly tall fourth grader- who I'm pretty sure is like 12- comes up to chat with us. She always come up to chat with us. "What's wrong with him?" pointing to Lily. He is a she- and nothing is wrong with her. "Where's his(glare from me) her hair?" She has cancer- a medicine she is on makes her hair fall out. It'll grow back. "Is she gonna die?" Yes, everyone dies. "But is she gonna die sooner?" Sooner than what? I'm hoping we kill the cancer and she will be fine. "Oh. Hmm." And off she goes to beat the sense out of some poor 4th grade boy. Nice. And this is why I no longer go out in public. People stand in walmart staring at you with looks of confusion, or tears. Like it isn't difficult enough trying to get through walmart with the cancer patient. But then someone does or says something that reaffirms your sense of humanity. On our way out of clinic the other day Lily was going on and on about something or other- probably disowning me or disinviting me from her party. A soldier gets down on one knee and winks at her- "You have a nice haircut little lady". He then pulls off his cap and has a matching haircut.


  1. Ohhh!!!!
    Jen, You have the ability to capture the emotional roller coaster parents of cancer patients experience. I remember one visit to Target with your brother. He had the ability to look past the stares. Me I could just feel them and I could feel the looks of sadness, and I hated the sudden turning away.
    But my experience has been that the right people show up at the right time. What a wonderful thing for that soldier to do for you and Lily. Understanding and compassion take many forms. Thank God for that soldier on that day at just the right time.
    Love, Mom (grandma)

  2. God bless that unknown soldier with the lovely haircut. He knew just the right thing to say.
    Jen, I can so relate to your morning. With my boys, they either love each other or hate each other and it can change in an instant. In fact, I just heard Jack shout "Way to go Joe you moron!" Such sweet boys! Are we lucky? Actually, yes, we are!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. They still look like angels to me.


Lily Kay Monkey

Lily Kay Monkey
November 2008 Photographed by Shelley Detton (7 Layer Studio)