Thursday, April 2, 2009

Nearing the end...

of this cycle, of treatment, of spring break, of my rope. Apparently my children are well adjusted, coping well and all in all normal. That must explain why I am so flippin tired.

Lily is doing fine. I am tired of people staring. I am tired of Tripler. I feel I should no longer have to wait for anything there again, ever. I am tired of the pharmacy. I am tired of the drive and the traffic. I am tired of trying to find a parking space. I am tired of my house being messy. I am tired of the smell of formula which I have tried 3 times, unsuccessfully to wash off pooh. I am tired of the mess. I am tired of the appointments and appointment system. I am tired of keeping track of it all. I am tired of band aids,pull ups and purel smell. I am tired of waking up as tired as I went to bed. I am tired of always trying to find the bright side. What if this is the bright side? That tires me.


  1. You are tired and it is no wonder! Thank you for all you are doing and for the amazing mother you are. Lily could ask for no better! Love you

  2. My Dearest Jen, Jen,
    I have been worried. Worried that you weren't human. Worried that you were trying to do too much. Worried that you were trying to be the perfect parent and wife.
    Now I am worried that you have done such a good job that even you are believing that it isn't okay to admit that you are human.
    I thank God that you are able to express your thoughts and fears and to actually put them in writing.
    How can you not be tired? You have gotten you and your family through some of the worst times. Hang in there. There's a lot of livin and lovin in store for you.
    As great-grandma Connolly always says "God never gives us more than we can handle". You know how much she has dealt with. You come from some really strong stock. Even your dad said "I know God never gives us more than we can handle --BUT he'd damn well better be keeping a very close eye on me now" !!!
    It's okay to be tired. Be gentle with yourself. Do for yourself what you do for your children. Get a good night's sleep. Pleasant dreams.
    Love, Mom (Grandma)

  3. You are nearing the bright side. Always darkest before the morning light-so cliche, so true. Get your hugs every day, as many as you can from everyone. Keep fighting. Keep praying. You are always in our thoughts and prayers - Love, Mom Deb

  4. Your kids are doing so well because you have been a rockstar of a mother. Hang in there! I can't even imagine how exhausted and tired of everything you are... but know so many people are cheering you on!! Wish I could be of more "hands on" letting you sleep while I take the kiddos and explore that would be a win,win. :)

  5. Hang in there Jen! This will all be over soon and then you will sleep for a month! You are an absolutely AMAZING mom. You do more with your kids with all this going on than I do with nothing going on. As a side note, happy birthday to Kiera! It's hard to believe 8 years ago today you had a brand new baby and I had a one day old. I can still picture the two of them laying next to eachother in the hospital. I miss you friend!


Lily Kay Monkey

Lily Kay Monkey
November 2008 Photographed by Shelley Detton (7 Layer Studio)