Training: Exercises in Parenting

Phil is currently creating his Disney Trip mix: he who knows Buddha knows that life is a series of mixes. It is surprisingly techno from what I have heard- a bit heavy on the Hannah Montana for my taste- oh wait that was Kiera's mix. Never mind.

The other night after bathtime, Kiera comes downstairs-her shirt streaked with blood. I do the initial scan for the source. She has 1 earring in, one in her hand, dripping with blood. In the past few weeks, Kiera managed to lose all but 3 of her earrings. A copper pair(mismatched, Sophia made her 2 sets, thee are the remains) and a single lonely post earring without a back. She decided this particular evening that it was time to put earrings back in after a short respite(meant to read- weeks, possibly months). Kiera's ears were pierced on her birthday- In April. Her holes had obviously healed. She tried to repierce them. As I looked at the situation, Blood was dripping down the "successful" side.

I retrieved the bottle of rubbing alcohol and proceeded to try and disinfect her as much as possible. All the while she is crying, not because it hurts, but she wants to wear earrings. I agree to buy her a new set of stud earrings, put them in, and she will probably have to wear said set until adulthood or she decides to be responsible, whichever arrives sooner.

So Kiera goes to spend her Saturday with her adoptive family and we run through a lengthy list of errands. Lily decided she needed to wear a jacket and pants, and about an hour into the session- I realize she is dripping buckets of sweat and her mood has deteriorated and she is laying on the floor in the mall refusing to communicate. I ask her if she wants to help pick out Kiera's earrings. She says she wants earrings. I agree to get her off the floor. We go into Claire's at which point Phil asks Bella if SHE wants earrings. She does. Like Kiera's. Phil and I look at each other and shrug- if a hole in a child's stomach heals in a couple days(+ or -, sort of- ball park reference here) two little holes will be fine in Bella. Bella did not witness Kiera's piercing, she has no idea how it goes down. Right up until the little white guns shoot earrings into her little lobes and she lets out a blood curdling shriek- I think one of the mirrors broke. Phil grabs her as one little tear streams down her cheek to check out her blingy new reflection. All is forgotten.

Lily wants 'earring aids' too. We tell her she already has them. NO! she demands Earrings! Ok, climb up. Is it going to hurt? -Yes. A lot? No. it's a quick hurt, like your port. I don't want to. Ok, let's go. By the time we pay for Bella's earrings, Lily has developed a twitch, waiting for someone to spear her earlobes. Yet by the time we are out the door she wants earrings again. Now. We turn around. No, maybe not. The result was 40 minutes of her screaming in the car about how much she wanted earrings, followed by her passing out on the couch. Phil and I weren't technically sure she is allowed to have metal spikes in her ears yet, but again applied said hole into stomach reasoning this morning when she woke us up demanding earrings because we might have mentioned something yesterday about going tomorrow as I was punching a hole back into Kiera's ear. SO we pack up the troops and do round 2. I tell her if she chickens out- she will have to wait until adulthood to get earrings. She tells me- I sit in your lap, go OWW! and then look in the mirror and I have earrings, right? right. Ok.

She climbs up in my lap. The lady asks which ear he wants. I say- SHE wants both. Unfortunately earrings will do nothing in the way of decreasing gender confusion for Miss Lily. The lady is confused. She proceeds anyhow. In her defense, the only information given in addition to the 12 signatures required to get a child's ears pierced is their name. Pause. The review the paperwork carefully. Pause. And the child sitting there has a deep purple velvet dress on and purple and pink hearing aids. Pause. We carry on. Lily says ow! And daddy takes her to see the result and all is forgotten. Now I have three little sets of earrings running around looking at themselves in the mirror. Actually, Bella and Lily have completely forgotten they have them until Kiera sees theirs and reminds them that they need to clean them and they can't take them out.

I am excited that my next blog will be from sunny Florida! In the event that any ears end up infected, I will erase all evidence of aforementioned proceedings....