Monday, October 5, 2015

Day 14 of 21. Date Night.

Family cleaning day. It's what we do on drill weekends if there is time. I bribe my kids to get them to clean. I know, I know, you need to get them used to chores and what not as it is a part of life- and they do chores. More often than not they suck at it. Then I have to go back and redo it. Which sometimes is more work than doing it in the first place. But this is one of the things I am working on. The goal was to get the downstairs clean. 

I create a post-it with each kid's name on it and they each get to pick one aspect of cleaning they are willing to do. The rest of the chores are assigned. Bella is pretty much half-assing her way through. Lily usually sighs repeatedly and very dramatically but I whispered to her there might be Starbucks in it for her if she doesn't give me grief. I explain to Phillip for the 300th time, the appropriate way to clean a bathroom and that yes bleach will ruin clothes. I had preemptively sprayed all surfaces with bleach to ensure disinfection. Yet the bleach dried by the time he got there- so I grab a bottle and spray again- and I realize the smell is off. Oh hell- it's the ammonia based cleaner. How'd that get in there? I explained to Phillip- who has a keen interest in science- why we don't mix bleach and ammonia. He automatically asks about the pee in the toilet- you know because pee has ammonia in it.  Flush the toilet. But what about on the rim? AIM BETTER! 

I reward the good little cleaners(not Bella) with overpriced coffee beverages which is supposed to help with their productivity. Apparently it makes them wrestle in the backyard. So I tell them to clear off all the patio furniture and clean the lanai. Kiera and I are relocating items to the garage when it occurs to me my car hasn't been washed since Phil's new job took effect. Kiera looks at me- You want me to help wash the car? Can I pull it out of the garage.?Unlike her brother- this one is interested in driving. Phil at one point during the 7th grade told her if she got straight A's in high school he'd buy her a punch buggy. (VW beetle) She has the mint green color picked out and everything. 

The car was gross. Like really gross. I made Bella wipe everything down- and then have Kiera wipe it down. I keep an eye on the clock knowing the girls have drama rehearsal at 3. We get the car done just in time to grab a snack and head out. After I drop them off, I take inventory of all my achey body parts. It is most of them. I'm tired. I know Phil will be tired from working all weekend, but this is one of those times I think it's important to work at relationships. And by that I mean get away from the kids. I send Phil a text that we are going out to dinner just us. No kids. Cuz I am not cooking. I have enough time to shower when I get home and go back and get the girls. No one notices that I'm showered. Usually they immediately want to know where I'm going if I bother to shower. 

I throw some mac and cheese on the stove and they are doing the happy dance. They love mac n cheese. I really should make it more although I question whether or not it is even food. It is convenient. No one is on to me yet. As Phil walks in, Lily looks at me, not eating and dressed and says- wait a minute- are you going out? Yes yes we are. 

We talked and talked and it wasn't interrupted by singing or farting or arguing over who is better at whatever. I wish date night was physically possible more often, it reminded me why date night outside of chemo dates are important. Sometimes we make dinner and don't call the kids until we finish eating. But we feel guilty because we don't get that many everyone around the table meals either. sometimes in the day to day running around and stress and chaos I forget for a minute how much I like the guy I married. I get upset because I miss him and I see how hard he works and sometimes it really affects my mood. It's a different kind of busy than the newly married, learning your way around life busy. It's a different kind of busy than new baby or toddler busy. I schedule appointments to keep healthy. I keep the kids healthy. Sometimes you gotta keep your heart healthy too. I don't know if we'll be able to squeeze more date nights in, but I hope we can try!

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Lily Kay Monkey

Lily Kay Monkey
November 2008 Photographed by Shelley Detton (7 Layer Studio)